A reminder about priorities, perspective, and the value of conversation - principles that shape my approach to leadership, strategy, and advisory work

I received the story below from my father many years ago, at the height of my corporate career. My most frequent destination was Heathrow Airport, as business travel and constant momentum dominated my weeks and increasingly encroached on family life and personal balance.

The world of work has since evolved. We now operate with more flexible models, increasing autonomy over how work gets done, and a growing recognition that balanced work weeks matter as much as productivity. Technology and artificial intelligence continue to accelerate the pace of business, but they also challenge us to be more deliberate about how we use our time.

The moral of the story endures. It is a simple reminder about priorities in life: no matter how full or demanding our schedules may appear, there is always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.

The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee. The story goes like this:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. 

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.  

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favourite passions – and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else – the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your wife out to dinner. Play another 18 holes.

“There will always be time to clean the house. Take care of the golf balls first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled.

“I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”